Monster Movie Madness -- Jared Sandman

MONSTER MOVIE MADNESS

guest blog by

JARED SANDMAN

I want to talk a bit about creepy performers. Not the actors like Boris Karloff or Vincent Price who starred in horror and sci-fi movies, rather the local hosts who used to introduce those types of films, usually on Saturdays at midnight. The most recognizable are probably Elvira and Svengoolie. I grew up in northeast Ohio, so our local horror legend was none other than Ghoulardi. The original Ghoulardi rose to prominence in the '60s, well before my time. When I was a kid -- this would've been the early '90s -- I remember Son of Ghoul had taken over those hosting duties. 

Son of Ghoul ran on Channel 23, which our ancient television sometimes received. Often I'd have to venture outside (always worse in winter) to manually turn our aerial antenna this way and that, using all the care of an expert safecracker trying to unlock a bank vault. "Good? No? How 'bout now?" I'd shout to my brother, who stood at the open window and monitored the TV, yelling back occasional instructions like, "You had it. Stop. Go back a bit. No, to the left. Your other left." 

If the gods smiled upon us, the winds blew from the right direction and I hopped on one foot, a faint signal from the Channel 23 TV station might get picked up. But a faint signal was better than none, especially when it came to watching monster movies. 

Son of Ghoul (or a competing duo on the Fox affiliate, Big Chuck & Lil' John) introduced the cheesy movies, as well as performed comedy skits in between commercial breaks. Most of these involved terrible puns ("Welcome back, boils and ghouls . . .") or slapstick, pies in the face and the like. This was sheer genius to the target demographic of such programming: stoners and kids past their bedtime. 

Some of the movies were bad enough to be good; most, sadly, never rose to that distinction. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! Night of the Lepus! Trog! I watched them all with glee, not understanding how awful they truly were. 

~~~#~~~


 Author Bio: Jared Sandman

Jared Sandman was born in Canton, Ohio, in 1985. He began selling his first stories professionally while in high school and wrote his first novel upon graduation. (That book, BLOOD MONEY, sits in a desk drawer where it will never see the light of day.)

LEVIATHAN was his second attempt at the long form, which he wrote two years later. This was followed up by THE WILD HUNT, DREAMLAND and THE SHADOW WOLVES. His next novel, BLACKSTONE, will be released in 2012. He's currently working on his seventh book.

Jared lives in the Tampa Bay area of Florida. You can learn more about Jared Sandman at his website and on Twitter and at his blog: Write. Rewrite. Repeat.

~~~#~~~

Blurb:

Flashback

LIGHTS! 

In the annals of Hollywood cinema, the name Gregory Kincaid is as synonymous with Jack the Ripper as Bela Lugosi to Dracula. He portrayed the infamous serial murderer in half a dozen films, spanning a five-decade career filled with monster movies and sci-fi schlock. Twenty years ago, weary of celebrity's harsh spotlight, he withdrew from public life, never to be seen again -- until now. 

CAMERA! 

After a wartime accident seriously injures journalist Jenny Pearce, she turns her attention to reporting entertainment news. More comfortable on the frontlines than the red carpet, she jumps at the opportunity to track down the notoriously reclusive Kincaid. 

ACTION!

The damaged pair forges an unlikely friendship, working together to write the actor's memoir. Except someone doesn't want Kincaid's tell-all all told, somebody who aims to protect secrets best left buried. Fighting for their lives, Kincaid and Pearce are forced to unravel a murder mystery gone unsolved for over seventy years.

Buy Links:

Amazon -- Barnes & Noble

 

Looking for Readers and Reviews in All the Wrong Places?

Blurb for The Ghost in the Closet:

Dumdie Swartz sees things other people can’t. Her weird habits have caused her nothing but problems since she was a child. Even her sisters teased her mercilessly.

When her boss fired her because he thought her trances were TIAs, Dumdie became homeless. Though Dumdie was lucky to find a room in a homeless shelter, just as winter was setting in, she discovers that not only does a ghost haunt her room, but her safe haven is threatened by a lost will. Dumdie must conquer her fear of upsetting people if she's to keep her room in the homeless shelter.

Now available for Free at Smashwords in several e-reading formats.

~~#~~

Heaved a huge sigh of relief last night. 

Got another self-published novella up. Now I have to promote it and find someone willing to do a review. It's sort of like shooting yourself in the foot. The best places I should do this are on Amazon and Goodreads. I know it. But, I'm such a populist that I get squeamish about limiting distribution to Amazon. 

How I'm trying to build a platform without making me snarl.

I'm offering The Ghost in the Closet for free on Smashwords for a short time. That allows this hermit to offer it free to people without using the computer skills I don't have. Hope I can get a free good review lines to use in Tweets. So I hope you at least click the link and read a piece. If I did my job, you'll read it to the end.

More important I'm giving you a case study in marketing. I'm trying to mesh the limited amounts of time I can spend on the computer, my natural inclination to avoid social media, and come up with a way to promote successfully. All before I put the book up for sale on Amazon -- that's when I raise the price to 99c.

You think that's too much to charge? 

Well, that means I'll get about 10-35c a sale. Remember I'm cheap and have a natural inclination towards thinking writers should get paid for their creations . Yeah, I think I'm competent enough not to disgrace myself.

What's your position on giving books away for free?

Twisting the Cliche. Are There Any New Ways to Write About Vampires?

Readers, how many times do you browse the paranormal shelves and get haunted by the undead?

Writers, how many times have you read agent wish lists that say: "No vampires, please"?

Yet, if you look, writers do come up with viable variations on the vampire cliche and write a fresh story.

A couple of my favorite variations. Ilona Andrew's mindless killers driven by by intelligent nasties. [I've never quite pictured the semi-humans in my mind, and I think the Andrews team wants it that way.] Charlaine's Harris' hierarchical kingdoms. Laurell K. Hamilton's pioneering efforts of vampire hunks which have now become a cliche in itself.

Now I've found a new twist on the vampire theme in Phillipa Bornikova's This Case Is Going to Kill Me that I like. Her vampires are affected by ultraviolet rays, not daylight. Think vampires feeding on specially fed hosts during business lunches behind screens  Also for Bornikova there are no female vampires. The reason remains vague even though the main character, Linnet Ellery, was fostered in a vampire family to gain career advantage.

After due law-school diligence, Ellery is given a position in a powerful vampire law office over the objections of one of the senior partners. Bornikova weaves together some nice plot threads to create no only the intrigue of a big-time law office plus a good detective story about searching for a will that totally disinherits a werewolf who think he owns a powerful security firm after he settles one claim to the business. 

You might say Linnet Ellery has her hands full. I don't read many lawyer novels but I thought the plot development fresh, even the romance was handled differently. Oh, almost forgot. Yeah. There's a romance with a Fae, but it doesn't run down a one track cliche either.

I'm going to keep this one since I think I might like to re-read it.

Another Bonus Read:

I don't read many e-type books, but I'm slowly reading Revenir Intern by R. Mac Wheeler. [Available on Amazon] In a world at war, a teen is picked to intern with a vampire queen's forces after drawing the her attention with her junior essay. The short of it, spoiled Caitlan is forced to change her summer plans to hang out with a bunch of soldiers. 

I haven't finished it yet because I need to get away from screens after spending all day sitting at one. Still the book keeps me stuck in my chair before the confuser longer than I must. Even though I sometimes have to turn off my internal editor. You might go to the Amazon page to see if the sample of Revenir Intern interests you. It's hooked me on its plot line and sense of humor. 

Author Update

What have I been doing? W...e...l...l  ... just about nothing. 

Wish I could say I finished something I was working on. Am still waiting for the next set of edits for There Be Demons. Should be writing new stuff for Forbidden Fruit, but am revising from my critique comments. Revising from the edits of The Pig Wars which is now Black Tail's War. 

Here's a second look of the cover since my website got first looks. You can read the first chapter at the website. Did you guess the book's the sequel to Troublesome Neighbors.

c

Looking for the Next New Thing in Genre Fiction: What's Your Flavor of Dead?

What's your favorite "new" thing in genre fiction? For awhile, vampires were the most popular dead things. Zombies soon got their day in the sun. Or is that the moon for both? Then, there are the ghosts that float through fiction genres from mysteries to paranormals and more. 

Stephen Blackmoore uses some different preternaturals in his new book Dead Things, a stand alone novel that adds the supernatural to a down to earth mystery with lots of suspects heating up the action. If you want to learn more about Blackmoore, you can visit his website. You might find some ideas to liven up your website.

Eric Carter is on the run from his past. While he's more than willing to use his powers to fight the bad guys, he's reluctant to return to Los Angeles. He wants to protect those he loves/likes from his powers as a necromancer and his ability to talk to the dead and gods. When he learns his sister is murdered, he must decided whether on not to return home and solve the crime. Blackmoore gives the reader a lovely ride with a twisting mystery with lots of well-drawn, lively characters.

Liked the opening, especially since I'm struggling with three different openings at the moment:
     "When I pull up to the bar, the truck kicking up dust and gravel behind me, I know it's already too late to help anyone. Of the eight or nine cars in the parking lot, two of them are Texas State Troopers', their roof racks still flashing."

Immediately, you know the narrator is a "good guy" and that something bad is coming down. The fight in the first chapter demonstrates Carter's powers against a murdering demon which earns a warning by some voodoo loa in payment. Then he learns of his sister's death. Carter's pulled back to Los Angeles to finish a fight he left undone many years ago.

What I found remarkable in this book was Blackmoore's use of preternatural lore. Human friends and enemies display varying magic skills that fit into a consistent magical system. Plus his well-drawn Voodoo gods, demons, and Santa Muerte, who has a bigger role than you might think, stand out as individuals.

Rating: Five Stars. This is a keeper for me. Also read it in two days in spite of being busy. I think both his website and this book can serve as good examples to study.

===

As I said, I'm really interested in openings at the moment. I'm putting Mac and the Hag Stone back in the files, but I want to rewrite the first chapter first. After critique group discussions, it's going to be one book again.

I'm going back to my Far Isle Half-Elven world. After some of the reviews of Troublesome Neighbors, I feel obligated to come up with another story. This time, at my critique group's urging, I starting at the beginning of the saga -- with Teemon's arrival in the Far Isles. I'm opening with a confrontation between Teemon and Seradith on the elf planes. The fact that it's a revision of a novella length draft makes this an attractive project.

I'm also revising a short story, called The Noticing One about emotional vampires, because I feels a need to have something else to submit or self-publish. I don't know which at the moment. Probably both.

Gaining Marketing Smarts

At least, I hope I'm gaining some marketing smarts.  Time will tell.

Half-Elven Marketing Stuff

Spent most of the week-end torturing my hip and learning writerly stuff at the Northern Colorado Writers conference.   I spent most of my time in the marketing/promotion sessions and talking to people.  Learned lots.  Now, I have to put it into practice.

First, change ... as you see ... is that I've combined the writer's blog with the Half-Elven blog ... again.  [Yeah, I'm something of a worm on the end of a hook, but I'm learning, I think.]  Seems I was diluting the blogging audience.  The URL link to the Half-Elven Blog is gone.  It's now "Half-Elven News", of which there is precious little to say.

Other than that, I'm still dinking with the website after combining the blogs.  Translation:  I have to get on the phone to bug the GoDaddy customer service people.  Tried for a couple hours to change my URL navigation link to a page where I give "Half-Elven" news.  Yeah, the klutz struck again.

Marketing Example:

I've been watching Nancy R. Williams marketing her new book, The Treasures of Carmelidrium,* which came out recently on Amazon.  Her blog, N. R. Williams, Fantasy Author, recently gave some interesting information on meta-tags and marketing.
    
      Insight 1) She asked friends to tag her at Amazon to increase her rankings.  I didn't know you could do that.  So, if you have a book on Amazon, you might study what she did.  I'm giving this info to my harpist daughter.  It's well worth studying ... and maybe adding some tags for Nancy as a thank you.  I know I did.

     Insight 2)  The tags look suspiciously like metatags.  You know, the do-hickies that help you rise or fall on the search engine pages.  So, it might be a good idea to look at your websites and blogs to see how you can improve the pesky things.

The time would be well spent if it gives your writing a marketing boost in the search engines.  Of course, if you're already a metatag marketing wizard, you probably skipped this.

Have you written any blogs on how your marketed your books.  Why not mention them with the results in the comments?

*Hope I spelled it write.  The name's so long the letters keep jumping around, and I never know which syllable I read is correct.

Avoiding Glops of Infodump

The Read ...

All fiction writers wrestle with backstory.  Fantasy writers have an added nemesis -- infodumps that try to explain the characters' world without slowing down the story.  While browsing the bookstore shelves, I picked a random volumne of Rachel Caine's Morganville Vampires series.  If I remember right, she's going to be at MileHi Con in Denver.  Thought it'd be politick to read a couple more of the books.  I was rewarded by a skillful example of feeding backstory/world info into the story line without slowing it down.

The book:  Feast of Fools, the fourth in the series.  I know I read Glass Houses, the first in the series, and I'm sure I haven't read any others.  Still, her first chapter was masterful in leading the reader into the new installment of "how to deal with benign and not-so-benign vampires".  I really sat up and took notice when I learned the MC's over-protective parents had moved to Morganville and needed protection from their daughter in this new environment.  Whatever, by the end of the first chapter, I was back in the loop with a good idea of the new problems facing Claire, new villains, and what had happened to the main/secondary characters in the previous books.   All as the story surged ahead.

Loved the opening hook for the book too.  "It was hard to imagine how Claire's day -- even by Morganville standards -- could get any worse ... and then the vampires holding her hostage wanted breakfast."  I leave you to wonder what the big, bad vampires wanted for breakfast.

Web Stuff ...

Trying to get my first Renna's Tale up on the blog.   Grump.  Grump.  Snarl.  Blogger won't let you cut and paste from Word docs.  Anyone have any ideas  besides typing the story in ... all nine pages?

Progress ...

Just be fiddling with the website ... trying to get stat counters in and other such necessities.

Did get Dark Solstice re-editing done -- mostly duplicate comments (telling and then showing or vice-versa), changing passive that still lurked, and other miscellaneous.  Now I've got to think of marketing.

Trivia ...

Am deep in Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire, but keep slapping my hand when I pick up Mockingjay.  I don't think it's a good idea to read two books in a series at the same time.

Oh, the vampires.  They wanted scrambled eggs, which was good since Claire didn't know how to cook eggs over easy.  A sad commentary on today's young adults.  My kids, even the male, could cook a whole meal by the time they were 12. 

Lessons from Ants

Lessons from the Literary Side of the Fence ....

A confession.  I love to watch ants scurry around ... as long as they aren't too close to my kitchen.  But, I tried for two days to get into E. O Wilson's Anthill, A Novel.  My internal editor kept getting in the way.

The blurp on the trade paperback was a "hooker".  "'What the hell do you want?' snarled Frogman at Raff Cody, as the boy stepped innocently on the reputed murderer's property.  Fifteen years old, Raff had only wanted to catch a glimpse of Frogman's 1,000-pound alligator."  Then, the blurp lied.  It said that was the beginning of the book.

I opened the book and fell over a pretentious prologue.  [Okay.  Easy to skip over.]  Chapter 1 begins with Raff and his cousin eating ice cream on a hot day.  Which was an okay, if slow way, to introduce the characters.  Unfortunately, my internal editor kept stabbing at words with its red pencil.  The narrative is mostly telling by a dull story-teller.  --  I couldn't trade-pile it because the book belongs to my old man.  Guess I'll banish it to the basement.

Lesson?  Well, ants scurry around.  The story arc of a book should move too.

A Little Dip in Old-fashioned Print ...

The Writer's Digest leavened all the advertising circulars in the mail yesterday.  Better, they included an interview of Charlaine Harris as part of the publicity for the third season of True Blood.  Love her attitude towards writing:  She does it for fun.  I really relate to that since I write to amuse myself first of all.

Zachary Petit writes a profile that sheds light on the publishing world as well as the author.  Harris comes across as very down to earth.  Sounds like she was enduring as a mid-list author (of two published series, one of which is Lily Bard, a favorite) until she got tired of the mystery formula.  She jumped over the traces and wrote about telepathic Sookie Stackhouse who just happened to have a vampire for a boy friend.  In the process, she created a logical alternative vampire/werecritter/supernatural world.

Worried about whether you should outline or not?  Harris probably wouldn't recommend you follow her practice.  She basically turns on her computer, types 'Chapter 1', and then, wonders what the heck she's going to do.  She's usually saved from embarrassment by someone throwing a "firebomb through the window".

She does give some good advice tho.  "To read everything you can get your hands on.  And to write.  Constantly."  The July/August issue also has a comprehensive section on writing memoir.

If you don't subscribe to Writer's Digest, try to find a copy on a newsstand ... or order from a bookstore.

Progress ...

Stared at only two more chapters of Voices to do  ...........  I thought ... no hoped.  Then, last night I got a whole 500 words down ... ended the chapter ... then, added another.  Still have three chapters to go.  *nasty face*

Tried to research agents yesterday afternoon.  My back started whining so I used it as permission to shut down the computer.  Do you think my psyche is telling something?

Trivia ...

All was quiet on the robin front, allowing me to sleep in until seven (AM).  For half a day, I thought they'd left.  Then at lunch time, there was a fledgling snuggled in the front lawn grass with a parent hopping around, guarding him/her.  Fortunately, no dogs came by.

Reality Hits the Fan

News ... Progress ... or Something ...

WolfSinger Publications sent me a contract to e-publish "Taking Vengeance" in 2011.

I'm working through the details,

BUT

the publisher wants a bio, picture, and back-page blurp.

So, my brain is stuttering, wondering how I'm going to do a decent marketing pitch.

Truth in advertising summary sentence for short story:  Mariah has given up fighting with the ruler of the Marches and wants to live her life in peace ... until her daughter is attacked by privateers who turn out to be more than they seem.  --  Hey, thanks guys ... Writing this blog helps me clarify my muddled thoughts.

In case you were wondering:  Taking Vengeance is part of what I think of as my "Mariah mess".  The piece is the first three chapters I excised from "Dark Solstice" last year.  The story chronicles the beginning of the feud between Mariah and Linden, the ruler of the Marches and her former lover.

Big Problem, though ...

I'm no longer a pretend writer
[basking in my own brilliance].

I have to work.

[All that said, I must tell you we're talking 12,000 words here, but the poor lil' thing
will have to stand
on its own two feet.]

The Read ... I sort of had a read, a mystery/thriller with a romance.  Felt it was overwritten  ... couldn't get into it even though I skimmed over a third.  Just didn't like the character (written in first person) -- even though she shared some of my favorite habits, and she was smart, persistent, and didn't take no sh*t from nobody.  I cheated.  Read the ending, but didn't read enough to guess the villain, before I put it back on the trade pile.

Used books serve a purpose by making it cheaper to buy a book you might not like.  Glad it was a used one.

Another Soft Hook?

The Read ... I chose a Southern cozy, was supposed to add another example of a soft hook from my to-read pile: Elizabeth Lyn Casey's Sew Deadly.  Only when I read it,  I considered the opening a "hard hook":
"She wasn't entirely sure whether it was the pull of the mahogany sewing box in the window or a much-needed respite from the endless barrage of curious glances, but either way, Elkin Antiques and Collectibles seemed as good a place as any for a momentary escape."

The opening sentence/paragraph was wordy ... but indicated a need for escape ... a hard hook to me.   A good example of a minor problem needing a solution that leads into the greater problem of the book.

I settled back to immerse myself in a Southern town full of wacky characters and a murder to solve.  The murder happened with the police chasing the wrong suspect -- the newcomer librarian who escaped into the antique shop to avoid the curiosity of the townspeople as a matter of fact.  Only problem:  While the librarian had been decently drawn, the people around her seemed more like cardboard cut-outs -- even the love interest seemed a cliche of the quiet, shy type of guy.  I kept reading for the puzzle which contained some nice twists but give me a Charlaine Harris mystery any day, even *shudder* Teagarden.  Sew Deadly is on the trade pile, as is its sequel.

Sour Grapes? ... Still looking at the Nashville Relief auction [Link for fun stuff] and grumbling about getting squeezed out of my bid at the last minute.  But, there's another story lurking in the bids:  how interested [desparate?] writers are to get an agent's attention.  The personal critiques are going for hundreds of bucks ... probably about the same amount as going to a writer's conference if you have to travel -- only you get a guarantee of a 25,30,50 page critique and sometimes a personal phone call.

Maybe I should have bid $300. after all.  Nah, I'm not that desperate ... yet ...  Nah, I'm just too cheap.  Anyway, the local food bank can use some extra money too.

Progress ... or is that avoidance?  Have done nothing with Voices all week.  Have revised chapters of Demons and submitted a chapter for critiquing.

Have re-read the ending of Emma without finding much to change.  Maybe, I should start submitting it.

Then, I opened Vengeance (the prequel to Dark Solstice) and started revising the novella.  Managed to chop about 100 words out of it (mostly adverbs and "to be" forms) -- even though its under consideration, having made the first reader's cut.

Vengeance might be trying to tell me something about pacing.  Once back when I wrote non-fiction regularly, I did sell occasional pieces of fiction.  Thinking back on it, I remembered noticing that the pieces I sold sort of galloped along without lagging on any particular character or situation.  My short non-fiction did the same thing.  Vengeance moves -- even though I used some archaic constructions/wording.  [Hey, its high fantasy with SF undertones (the influence of genetic drift on a society.)]

Is it obvious I'm getting antsy about submitting again. ... I do have two flash fiction pieces that might find a home. ... dilemma continued ... 

What do you do when you think you should be submitting something to someone ... and maybe have nothing to submit?

Trivia ...  another funeral today ... Sorry, it's a memorial service.

Hard Hook, Soft Hook

The Read ... presented a different opening hook than the ones I've found in more recent books -- a soft hook.  I think I mentioned I found a used copy of Dorothy Gilman's Kaleidoscope published back in 2002 [maybe her last published book].  Now, I never cared much for her Mrs. Pollifax spy character but read the first The Clairvoyant Countess (Madame Karitska) several times.  [My favorite book of hers is The Nun in the Closet.]

More important, Ms. Gilman was chosen as this year's Grand Master (2010) at the Edgar Awards.  All in all, I'd say this is an author to pay attention to.  That said, I must say, Gilman's books don't fit the mold of the books I've been buying lately.

The hook feels passive when compared to current openings.  "Madame Karitska, leaving the shabby brownstone on Eighth Street, gave only a cursory glance at the sign in the first-floor window that read MADAME KARITSKA, READINGS.  It was ironic, she thought as she stepped into the bright noon sunshine, how a talent that had earned her whippings as a child, and for which she had never before accepted money, had led her so firmly to this street a year ago, and to this brownstone, to place the sign in the window that at last admitted her gift of clairvoyance."

A lot of info was packed in there, but I wonder if a working editor would sharpen the old red pencil and trim/change the opening paragraph.

More important than the opening hook being softer is the fact the structure of the whole book differs.  Today, publishing blogs from all sectors mention story arcs.  Imagine a covered esplanade with arches letting in the sunshine leading you from one point to another.

Gilman works with entwined threads of vignettes of Madame Karitska's clients, some pertinent to the continuing story and some one time happenings.  I often felt like Gilman was trailing a number of red herrings behind her.  Teasing the reader to guess which vignette adds pertinent plot info and which just adds color to the skein. 

I wonder if the book could still be published -- even though I enjoyed it immensely.  No danger made the reader care about the main character.  No plot offered a great puzzle to solve.  Indeed, Karitska is mostly a passive observer -- though she does get her ankle kicked by one of the villains in the book when he is arrested.  Karitska supplies the information, and the police solve the crimes.  The book, in this sense, almost feels like real life.

Progress ... Have been working on motivations.  Ye New Critiquer faulted me [rightly] for being too obtuse.  Now I've been going back and revising ... mostly beginning chapters.  For Kaffy Anne [Voices of Ghost Creek], I've been foreshadowing her ability to sense ghosts.  For Britt [There Be Demons], I've been adding more indications about what she wants to happen [and ain't].

For Emma, her expectations of bad luck are delivered right in the first chapter without anyone telling me I need to do more.

Trivia ... Bid for a critique on Nashville Relief.  Someone bid $5.00 higher minutes before midnight ended the auction.  I think I was asleep.  ...  Little green demon's saying:  Now you can keep your charity closer to home.

Resisting the Query Itch

Queries ...  Queries ...  Of course, I've been studying how to write effective queries ...  I've got the query itch.  With three manuscripts in the hopper, I want to query.  Long to query.  --  So, I have every unpublished, unagented writer's problem (with a completed manuscript).  To query or not to query.

Last week, I thought writing a hooking query was my major problem.  After listening to a couple critique partners, I'm worried more about whether my manuscripts are up to snuff.  (Britt and Emma)

Writing an effective query seems simple enough.  Here, I'll give the "stage" to my guru-in-chief, Janet Reid ... an agent who doesn't represent what I write (dang it).  Here's the link to her guidelines:  http://tinyurl.com/2djd38m

Every other, agent I remember repeats Reid's theme ... if not the specifics. Agent Rachelle Gardner , a very nice person I've met thanks to the Northern Colorado Writers and who also doesn't represent what I write, offers some pointed comments on why an agent wouldn't want to bite on your wonderful, maybe glorious query.  http://tinyurl.com/28z76hm  [Though yesterday, Reid did extend a fin offering a temptation to query even if you think your manuscript is inappropriate.]

Now, I'll tell you a secret in case you didn't read Rachelle's post.  You can write the most glorious query in the world.  If the agent you send it do doesn't represent the genre of the book or hates horses (or whatever), you'll get a form rejection.  Sounds self-evident, but from the agent blogs -- inappropriate submissions happen all too often.  Maybe incompetent submissions more often. 

[I now have only three queries out there -- for Emma.  The rejections should more or less land by June -- one's one of those "if you don't hear from us, it's a rejection." types.  I don't see why if agents can automatically acknowledge the receipt of a query -- they couldn't sent an automatic "Your project isn't for us".

The Read ... Well, I now know what all the comment was about when I finally got to the end of Changes by Jim Butcher.  No spoilers here.  I'll just say the action gallops along to the end with a little rumination about doing the right thing.  A lot of loose ends were tied up ... but huge dangling questions left Dresden simmering.  My disappointment, Mab didn't appear at the end to tell Dresden what she thought about her new Winter Knight's adventure.

One thing I noticed in this book, Butcher is still promoting the Codex Alera series.  I don't know what it's doing nationally, but I don't think it's doing too well where I live.  Two used book stores didn't take the two books I had in trade.  (I more or less just skimmed the books.)  The Friends of the Library gets them to do whatever with.

Trivia ... Pat Stoltey, a friend from the Northern Colorado Writers, gifted me with a BFF Blogger award.  Only I don't know what to do with it.  Maybe, I'll have to go to the office after the chiropractor's to find out.  Must thank her though.  Her mention got me a couple new followers, I think.

Queries and Changes

Progress ... The queries in the back of my mind jumped to the front over the weekend -- like it's time to refine my approach to queries.  Spent a whole evening sorting through the stale queries I had hanging out there.  (About six for three books.)  By the time I organized them, cleaned them up and set up a new tracking system, I had three left ... one for a book submission which I'll probably withdraw. 

Actually, I'm thinking of not sending out anymore queries for a while.  Found a new critique partner (I hope.) who caught stuff my other valiant critiquers hadn't.  (Believe me, they found plenty wrong.)  -- Guess I don't have the craft stuff firmly internalized yet.

One thing, I'll be pickier about who I send my queries to.  No more general fantasy agents.  Now, I'm looking for agents who do both middle grade and young adult with a strong interest in fantasy (not necessarily just paranormal).  It narrows my options so I really do need to limit the number of queries I send out there,or I'd quickly exhaust the possibilities.

If you are looking for some in-depth info about agents -- beyond the summaries at Agent Query and Query Tracker (etc), you might look at Casey McCormick's blog Literary Rambles.   Click Here.

Of course, there's Publisher's Marketplace too, but they charge.  I'm still an amateur and don't feel I can justify the cost.

Sterling Reading Advice ... The Sunday New York Times Magazine had an interview with Charlaine Harris, "Once Bitten" where she gives her take on vampires.  I liked her writing advice: "For any writers at all, read everything you can and then put your butt in the chair and write.  That's all there is to it."

I really wish it were so.  All I can think of is the joke about the guy who wrote a class paper:  "Pop pop, poppity pop pop ..."

The Read ...  Jim Butcher keeps moving Harry Dresden from one disaster to another conflagration.  Old and new characters appear ... giving him a smidgen of help while digging him deeper into a hole.   As usual, I love the way he depicts characters through their actions and dialog.  His vampire-hired assassins are a hoot in the way he gets the dialog to indicate their weird mental processes.  I don't know if Butcher was a student of Edward Sapir or Benjamin Whorf, but ...  [I'll reserve that discussion for when I find myself among a bunch of anthropologists.]

Did I mention the action?  During the transition (about half way through) from setting up the problem facing Dresden to delaying Dresden so can't reach the villains in time to prevent his daughter's sacrifice -- he's being chased by these weird  assassins, mentioned above, who fire bomb his basement apartment.  The problem:  Dresden is faced with the problem of saving his cat and the elderly people who occupy the other apartments in the burning building -- with the hurt/broken(?) back he had retreated to his apartment to treat.  By the time he rescues the elderly occupants and gets taken to a safe-house, Dresden is treated for his back only to face a different assassin.  --  All in about 20 pages or so.

Thought I'd just throw in a couple lines, out of context, that had me laughing out loud.
1)  "Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak.  "This is a cackling."  [Note the adverb and to-be word, anyone?]
2)  Sanya's eyes danced, though his face was sober.  "You are a drug dealer (pizza).  To tiny fairies.  Shame."

I've noticed another interesting difference in this book -- rather long, for Butcher, existential commentaries about religion, values, change, and other important stuff I don't remember in the previous books.

Trivia ... Went to the Farmer's Market in the cold.  Bought all sorts of good stuff -- kettle corn, snickerdoodles, apple strudel.  Hey, I didn't say healthy.

An Opening Hooks Contest

The Reads ...  I just discovered good literary fiction hooks a reader almost as fast as commercial fantasy fiction.  [I know, I'm a slow learner.]  I don't normally read short fiction but The Atlantic Monthly fiction issue and P. N. Elrod's Strange Brew landed on my reading table at the same time.  Then, my brain started bubbling, and I wondered what a bunch of writers might think.   So, a contest based on these two sources:

First, I won the trade paperback, Strange Brew edited by P. N. Elrod over at the Dark Wyrm Reads.  [ http://darkwyrmreads.blogspot.com]  I've been reading stories between the books normally commented on.  If you like contests, the Dark Wyrm Reads is a quick place to located a lot of them.  Also, you can get a quick heads-up on a variety of new fantasy books. 

Second, The Atlantic Fiction 2010 arrived today.  Now, I've always considered fiction in The Atlantic Monthly as literary fiction lite, by definition more entertaining than stories appearing in college literary magazines.  [I may be right or wrong, but that's my view from what little I've read in the genre.]  Whatever, you can probably find a copy on a magazine rack.

You'd think there'd be a major difference in the openings of the two types of stories.  I glanced through the Atlantic stories so see if any interested me.  Some did, and surprised myself by reading some.  So, I thought I'd do my own contest to see how easy it was for you tell the difference between the two types of openings.  Below are the first three sentences of five stories [hopefully without any typos].  Can you guess which ones are fantasy and which ones are literary?  Rules and prize can be found at the end.

A ...This morning, in the dark, my neck sore from sleeping in my son's bed, I stand at my front window with a cup of coffee, wait for the paper, and look out on the neighborhood.  From up the street the Jensen couple walks with their two teen-age sons.  They're dressed in dark colors and avoid walking under the street lamps.

B...My body hit the wooden floor with a loud thud.  I'm not sure if it was the fall that knocked my breath from my chest, or the naked man who landed on top of me.  Either way, I was left lying on the cold floor, blinking up at the ceiling, and trying to drag some air back into my lungs.

C...Hattie met him behind the dye vats, and me, I was forced to come along.  Why did I agree to it?  All-morning whines, whispers, and pinches to the nape of my neck, that's why.

D...Howell was still on the lam.  He'd been a grifter most of his life, a guy without a permanent address.  He had six Social Security cards, seven driver's licenses, a potpourri of voter-registrations cards, bankbooks under a dozen names.

E...The pounding began at 2:11 A. M. and continued until I hauled my weary ass out of bed.  My hand fumbled awkwardly around the nightstand until it finally closed over my gun.  I was fuzzy from the lack of sleep, but I never left my weapon behind these days.

To start the comments:  I read all the pieces before I selected them randomly and just noticed that most of the selections were first person point-of-view.  Another quaint point:  two of the passages have people waking up, something that's supposed to be part of a cliched opening.   Guess if it works, it sells; if it doesn't work, it's a rejected cliche.

The Prize (Re-prizing forward, really):
P. N. Elrond (editor).  Strange Brew.  New York: St Martin's Griffin, 2009. [used]

The Rules:

1.  I'd appreciate knowing which opening hooked you fastest. 

2. For the contest: write the letters in sequence and tell whether you think the opening is literary (L) or fantasy (F) [ ie:  Z = F ] at the end of your comment.

4.  Contest closes at midnight on Saturday, April 24, 2010, USA MDT, and is limited to the USA so I can send the book media mail.

5.  The winner will be drawn from the people who label the most openings correctly (by my definition).

6.  By Monday, April 26, 2010, I'll announce the identity of the winner. 

To End on a Fun Note:

The Kindle has made the comics.  Crankshaft got a Kindle as a gift.  The comic comes from the studio of Tom Batiuk and Tom Ayers and is one of the comics I read -- even before writing.  The series started 20 April 2010.  Follow the fun: http://tinyurl.com/ysszfn

Wrapping Up the Ending

The Read: [2 April 10] Gone Tomorrow, Lee Child's Jack Reacher is sprinting towards its ending.  Taking Friday night to just finish it.  My book isn't going anywhere ... and I hear there's a holiday on, a big enough one to make the stock market shut up.

Saturday Update:  Finished Gone Tomorrow.  As always, when I finish a Child novel, I feel like burying my head in the sand.  Reading him is like watching a master magician.  You have some idea about how he creates his impressions, but you haven't an idea about copying his expertise.  --  Hey, I can admire without emotionally putting myself down.  I should hope he'd have learned something after over ten novels hitting it big time.

Half way through and it's time for the potential villains to reveal themselves through their actions and lies.  I started the read with about 40% of the book to go with all the plot elements twisting and turning.  Child begins to line his cast of characters where they belong in scenes complete with chases by foot and subway around the middle part of Manhattan.  Best yet, Child has three categories:  good guys, bad guys, and general bureaucratic pains-in-the-arse, giving them all many opportunities to change sides in the equation of good vs evil.  [My opinion.  Human dignity should make evisceration while still alive a crime against humanity -- among other possibilities.  Too bad so many people get away with committing them.]   

Now to talk about the ending without lobbing a spoiler -- because the ending is masterful.  Page 517 [of a 543 page book], the miscalculation in Reacher's reasoning pops out of the bathroom, armed and with Reacher down to his last bullet.  Reacher uses his last bullet to off the henchman -- leaving him to the mercies of two knife-wielding fans of evisceration.  

There, I don't think I told the ending.  Of course, Reacher survives for the next book.  It's already published, I think, but you'll have to read the book to see how Child ends it.

Note:  The New York Times today had a set of lovely maps of Manhatten showing the various districts of the island with a big blanks spot where Central Park is.  The maps were made to show where it's easy or difficult to find cabs during different parts of the day.  Hey, I pick up research tools wherever I find useful ones.

I wish I had it when reading the book.  Though I have visited the town since I have two New Yorkie kids, there were some districts on the maps I had never heard of.  --  [Hey, what do you expect from someone who had never got east of Pine Ridge, South Dakota until 1973, and that was only because we hopped planes on our way to Britain.]


Web Notes:  Nancy Drew on steroids!  Innovators create things that sometimes make your jaws drop, but aren't necessarily for you ... or me.  James Patterson, the writing machine, is a case in point.  The New York Times did a Sunday magazine article on him a couple weeks back.  Jim Thomsen, of  the 1st Turning Point blog, published a great summary and some comments on Patterson's significance. [  http://1stturningpoint.com/?p=3638 ]

Work for hire arrangements -- where writer's give up all rights to what they write and are paid a fee instead -- have always existed in writing and the business world.  I've done it.  Millions have done it ... over time, at least.  The question is whether you want put your fingers/head on the block.

Does the idea of being a writing machine appeal to you, ie: producing 3-4 books a year?  Here's a telling quote with a brief map:
The Times piece says that Patterson “avoids description, back story and scene setting whenever possible, preferring to hurl readers into the action and establish his characters with a minimum of telegraphic details. … They are light on atmospherics and heavy on action, conveyed by simple, colloquial sentences.”

Personally, I think I'll plod along with one draft a year.  Think of it as resisting temptation -- like not trying to be a real estate millionaire when the bubble's ready to pop.

Progress:  Maren is creaking along -- something I find annoying after the way she kept intruding in my thoughts when I was trying to wrap-up Emma.

Trivia:  The silly apricot's blooming.  Now, I'm waiting for a freeze to knock its blossoms off.

Age Appropriate or Unskillful Use of Language?

The Read:  When the family book trading box arrived, I was pleased to see a book by Diana Wynne Jones -- Witch's Business.  Her Chrestomanci series, Dalemark Quartet, and Howel's Moving Castle sit solidly on my top reads list.  [ I don't really call them favorites because the list is so long. ]  So, I looked forward to the book even though it was obviously a middle grade.

The fantasy is firmly grounded in reality.  In this case, what happens when you try to replace your allowance when it's impounded because you broke a chair.  The brother and sister set up a business but run afoul of the local witch who is in the same business.  The more the kids try to solve their problems, without alerting the adults, the deeper their problem grows.

Witch's Business had charm, humor, and a nice puss-and-boots twist, but I had problems with the simplicity of the plot.  Perhaps this is because it's aimed at 8-10 year olds, depending on their reading level.  The book was written in a simpler time (1973) and, maybe, for Wynne Jones' British audience, granted ... but for me, it just didn't ring true.  I can remember myself and my friends vividly in the 4th and 5th grades.  None of us were so naive as the "good guys".  Not even the densest of us.  ( I don't want to call him stupid, because he wasn't really.  Just dense.)

The "cussing" on the part of the bully bothered me the most.  While he used interesting non-cuss words which created vivid disgusting images like rat slime, slimy puke, and degutted brains-in-gravy, his swearing lacked rhythm.  There's an art to swearing that my friends had mastered even at that young age. 

Is it a good thing I write for young adults -- though I understand you have to be careful of your cussing for them too?

Web Notes:  True or false?  Are some writing truisms myths?  Kevin Hearne wrote a blog exploding three truisms common in publishing circles, especially among writers.  Hearne did a survey of  246 published SF and Fantasy writers and wrote about the results.  --  In his Writer's Grove blog --  http://kevinhearne.blogspot.com/2010/03/three-writing-myths-busted.html 

I took comfort from this result:

116 out of the 246 hadn't sold anything before they sold their first book to major publishers.

Progress:  None, in the usual sense that I wrote something.  I've spent the last two day exhausting my brain at the Northern Colorado Writers conference.  Learned lots of good stuff.  I'll try to post a sample of them tomorrow.

(I'm way behind on my time log for Maren, Lost and Found.  Did get a title to pop out of my brain.)

Trivia:  Had lots of fun at the conference even if my pitch sank. 

PS:  I'm sorry I can't get links to work on this thing, software, whatever. 

Maybe I Shouldn't Read Older Works ....

Happy Valentine's Day

(Another of those American manufactured excuses to give presents.)

The Read:  When I took in my trades, I found the complete Hawk and Fisher books by Simon R. Green, including two books of three each.  Eight books for the price of three.  Sure a good enough bargain to thrill my cheap little soul.  Only after reading the first, Hawk and Fisher, I'm beginning to wonder if it's such a good deal.  --   I bought them.  Right.  Does that mean I have to read them?

Another dilemma presents itself.  The books were writen in the 1990s, with the first one having a copyright of 1990.  Twenty years ago.

I thoroughly enjoy the Nightside series.  Have even reread it.  Like the Hawk and Fisher for what they are -- a nice linear mystery with a locked room puzzle and two different killers with two different motives.  But there was the other stuff.  The excessive adverbs (enough to grate), head hopping, and a lot of back story disguised as dialog.  I don't think this is a Brit thing.  Just earlier in a career at a time when such things were more permissible. The shallowness of the characterizations also bothered me.  Green does much better with sparse descriptions in his Taylor series.

Having said that, I'm wondering why I can't get comfortable with my last critique due for discussion on Wednesday.  I've got their critiques of Emma which found some embarrassing nits.

Progress:  In one day?  Actually, there was some.  Emma.  Sprayed the nits.  Or, is that, corrected my mistakes.

Maren.   The pile of paper on the card table is growing.  Most of it has useful info on it.  My suspicions of yesterday are firming.  I think the first third of the book I planned to write is going to be 40-50,000 words.  In other words, a novel by itself.  -- One of the reasons I like YA.  The books can be shorter.

Oh, have I said that Maren's name is Maren Valentene.

Trivia:  Made the old man happy.  I cooked a recipe from a cookbook he lugged up from the basement.

[Have I mentioned that my house is anchored by the books in the basement?]

Anyway, I tried a new recipe for an onion stew.  I don't think I'll cook it again.

[Sorry, can't resist.  As far as I know, the old man's kisses begin with "Kay".]

It Snowed ...

Lectures from my Reading:  Have gotten all the way into Jane Haddam's Cheating at Solitaire to page 120-something.  As I said before, it's a dense read.  Not only are her paragraphs long, but the sentences too.  I didn't do a readibility analysis on the text (Too lazy, and I don't think it's important enough for the effort.), but I'm betting it's way up in the upper high school grades.  --  (I naturally write about the sixth-seventh grade level with short paragraphs.)

Example from when Haddam is describing a media feeding-frenzy (which I found funny):  "And Al Jazeera," Stewart said blandly.  "Great story about the decadence of the West with a great excuse to run pictures of girls in their underwear."  --  (That was a quote from dialog.  Note she got away with the dreaded adverb.)

Haddam must of had great fun poking (skewering ?) the celebrity scene complete with legitimate news and the paparazzi chasing the same non-story.  No chihuahuas as yet, but I think they've all been exported to Colorado to find normal homes.  (Local readers know that Denver shelters have been getting shipments of unwanted chihuahuas from LA for adoption.)

As always, the writing is for savoring as Haddam puts her characters on a POV carousel, each commentary inching the action forward.  I know the clues are embedded in each character's soliloquy, but they're rather difficult to find.  So far, I've caught only one dissatisfied loner who might meet the culprit profile.

Progress:  Emma.  Am up to chapter 10 and should get more done today.  No TV programs I want to watch tonight, outside the news.  Did get critiquers comments transferred too.  *ducks head in embarrassment at the mistakes*  (Honest, I did proof the stuff before I submitted.)

Critiquing... Got caught out doing a bunch of stupid mistakes.  Maybe not stupid, but things I know I shouldn't do ... or know better ways of doing.  --   I wonder if anyone has ever written a marketable book making every craft error imaginable.

Maren ... I've given up on actually trying to draft the first chapter.  My brain can't handle the two projects at once.

Trivia:  Chickened out of driving fifteen miles in the snow to have breakfast with a friend.  We rescheduled for lunch tomorrow.  The old man is amusing himself chasing a persistent squirrel out of our linden tress.

In the Groove???

What My Reading Tells Me:  I forgot to mention something in my last post.  I took a YA fiction class from Victoria Hanley last year (2009).  I learned almost enough to know what I don't know ... if that makes any sense.

Anyway, on to the structure of Violet Wings.  The book has my favorite kind of protagonist/main character -- a non-conforming achiever.  All three of my kids fit the slot.  My friends' kids did too.  (Some of my favorite memories are of coffees where we dissected the public schools lack of support and understanding of our darling weirdos.)  

In Violet Wings, Zaria, the main character, ends up with an extraordinary amount of magic as does her self-centered friend.  More important, the friend is set up to complicate the story arc in several ways at the beginning, including contacts with forbidden humans.  You just know the kid's going to be up to her violet wings in hot water, -- or is that iron?  The first third of the book sets up most of the characters (I think.), and the action hints at a number of coming problems.  

In the middle of the book, the problems come crashing down on Zaria.  Also, the real antagonist appears from among the annoying authority figures.  The villain seems to have something to do with the disappearance of Zaria's family in spite of being a fairy council member.  More important she tries to control Zaria's learning how to use her magic.  

Only, sneaky sneaky Zaria has a hidden talent -- the ability to work spells independent of the archaic language formulas which only the villain is supposed to teach her.  (Wouldn't Harry Dresden love that!  No correspondence course Latin.)

The last third?  I'm still reading, but I'm looking forward to an interesting confrontation with Zaria, humans and the villain.  (Unwanted bills sucked up my time, but I still got the minimum revisions done.  I'm just sitting here wondering why I can see the structure in Hanley's book but am having problems seeing it in Emma. )

Progress:  Emma.  Have stumbled over the block presented by Chapter 3 without landing on my face, I think.  Problem?  It's the transition chapter from Grandmama's to new town.  Also have to convey a feeling of menace while introducing Hardscrabble. -- One consolation: a critique partner did see at least a hint of  foreboding.

I can just hear everyone screaming:  start the book with chapter three.  Only Chaps 1 and 2 set up Emma's antagonism for her grandmother, and the reason why she takes off into the hills with possible enemies later on.  ... So, what is a novice writer to do?  I'm leaving Chaps 1 and 2, like they are.

Demons:  Haven't heard a squeek.  As if I expected to over the holidays.  Hopefully, I'll slip in at the beginning of the line and get read before the agents get too yawny.

Maren:  Setting up my characters with their auras.  I'm going to try writing a fantasy thriller.

Have the first chapter in process ... with the protagonist in the hospital with main helper/interpreter watching with her knitting needles slithering away.  Madame LaFarge, anyone?  Only Faithful Alice Sweet is one of the good guys.  Also, I think waking up in a hospital bed is a cliche.

Short Stories.  Don't think I mentioned them, but I wrote several short and flash fiction pieces last year.  (One of which was the chopped prologue of Dark Solstice.)  All were gather mold at publishers.  Sent some of status queries, one of which hadn't any record of receiving  my story.  So, I resent.

Trivia:  New Year's Organizing.  New Year's Eve:  We did the recycling and took stuff to Goodwill, but didn't clean the linen/towels closet.  Got rid of some books to the Friends of the Library too.

Think we'll go out to eat for New Year's day.  I'm tired of eating leftovers.  Only we'll end up with leftovers if we eat out since the old man and I can never agree on what we want to eat.