Trivia: The director of the Northern Colorado Writers has written a pertinent blog on focusing. [http://the-writing-bug.blogspot.com/] I even agree with her. Strongly agree, in fact.
So, what am I doing? You got it. Unfocusing.
I'm supposed to be finishing Yasmine Galenorn's Legend of the Jade Dragon, a beautiful little mystery I'm enjoying a lot. So, on Saturday night, I started re-reading Laurell K. Hamilton's Burnt Offerings, an Anita Blake novel before the ardour (sp) reared its sexy head. I was just going to check the opening ... to see how she placed her "hook". It's Monday, and I'm still reading. Still reading Galenorn too.
In the meantime, I skimmed through a "thesis" of a sort on medieval interpretations of out of body experiences. Purpose: to see if it held any pertinent ideas for my interpretations of elves and fairies. It didn't.
Writing Lessons: While Hamilton's opening with the comparison of battle scars hooked me the first time I read the book, this time, I glomed onto another aspect of her writing -- her incorporating her descriptions in the course of the dialog. Galenorn does it well too.
Random Hamliton (Anita Blake as narrator):
"'I'm so glad you've come,' he said. 'I tried to take care of them, but I couldn't. ...' His shoulder had healed enough that he covered his eyes with his hand so we couldn't see him cry, but his voice was thick with tears, as well as blood."
"Zerbrowski met me on the steps leading into the squad room. 'If that dress was slit any higher, it'd be a shirt,' he said."
Random Galenorn (Emerald O'Brien as narrator):
"'What a pretty box.' I could feel a wave of emotion wash off Horvald as I spoke."
"She pumped my hand like she was trying to jack up a car. 'Pleased to meet you. Cathy Sutton. ...'"
Then there was: [Galenorn, again]
"'Oh, yes it can" I told her about the two times we'd caught it in action. 'I was going to wait until we reached the resort to tell you about the visions, but I might as well tell you now.' I detailed the two scenarios I'd witnessed while holding the statue."
-- [I thought the above was a clever way of bringing another character up to speed without dragging in a lot of explanation.]
Progress: I did a re-review of a chapter of Tangled and submitted it to its critique group, but not much else.
Emma. Ditto, except it was two chapters since they are so short. I'm now working on Emma more than Tangled. I'm tasting the end.
Now for the bad girl part: I decided to revise a short story I had out for submission. It's gathered some nice editorial comments, but no check.
So, I went back and looked at it. Aaargh! While I try to write dialog like the above. The first couple pages had several examples of showing the action, then telling what I showed. Granted it wasn't as bad as the stuff I'm removing from Tangled, but still .... You'd think I'd've learned to notice the fault the first edit around by now.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Temptation
Trivia: Last week on a whim, I picked up two of Yasmine Galenorn's Emerald O'Brien series at the grocery store. Read the first in a couple days, then was stuck with a decision. Did I read the series or just the first and fourth novels? Gave in to temptation and bought the second and third. Now my to-read pile is piled higher and deeper.
Reading Lessons: What a pleasure to read a 250 word book with short chapters. My eyes didn't glaze over with excessive description. More important, I could read a chapter during my after lunch coffee break and remember what happened. I didn't have to go back and refresh my memory. I wonder if this is a consideration for others with busier lives. Maybe most people don't read by units as excessively as I do. For me, plot specifics stick with me better when I read by chapters.
I'd read Galenorn's half-fae witch series, but got bored with it around the fifth or sixth book. [The dragon was neat, though]. Really like O'Brien and her tea room (not shoppe). An amateur sleuth with kids gumming up the works -- talk about magical realism. A strong mystery provides the backbone that holds the book together.
I found Ghost of a Chance a book to go back and study. O'Brien's complex backstory of the character is interlaced with the action. Plot points -- a romance and a hint of competition, a second murder, nice red herring who stays unsympathetic, the motive of the real villain mentioned early in the book -- are all nicely strung together, better than most human spines. The pagan foundation is presented in the course of the action with me appreciating Galenorn isn't dogmatic. [Yes, some pagans are.]
I read it in two days, but I think I'll be going back to it when I read the other three. There's a lot to learn in the way she puts the book together. Half-way into the second book, I'm already seeing hints at future plot points.
Progress: Am up-to-date on my critiques. All I have to do is review them to see if I still think the same -- and if I made myself clear. Something I worry about since I'm so dyslexic.
Tangled. Still chopping.
Emma. Been spending more time here. The reorganization to MG continues with me trying to add more emotional reaction as I go.
Reading Lessons: What a pleasure to read a 250 word book with short chapters. My eyes didn't glaze over with excessive description. More important, I could read a chapter during my after lunch coffee break and remember what happened. I didn't have to go back and refresh my memory. I wonder if this is a consideration for others with busier lives. Maybe most people don't read by units as excessively as I do. For me, plot specifics stick with me better when I read by chapters.
I'd read Galenorn's half-fae witch series, but got bored with it around the fifth or sixth book. [The dragon was neat, though]. Really like O'Brien and her tea room (not shoppe). An amateur sleuth with kids gumming up the works -- talk about magical realism. A strong mystery provides the backbone that holds the book together.
I found Ghost of a Chance a book to go back and study. O'Brien's complex backstory of the character is interlaced with the action. Plot points -- a romance and a hint of competition, a second murder, nice red herring who stays unsympathetic, the motive of the real villain mentioned early in the book -- are all nicely strung together, better than most human spines. The pagan foundation is presented in the course of the action with me appreciating Galenorn isn't dogmatic. [Yes, some pagans are.]
I read it in two days, but I think I'll be going back to it when I read the other three. There's a lot to learn in the way she puts the book together. Half-way into the second book, I'm already seeing hints at future plot points.
Progress: Am up-to-date on my critiques. All I have to do is review them to see if I still think the same -- and if I made myself clear. Something I worry about since I'm so dyslexic.
Tangled. Still chopping.
Emma. Been spending more time here. The reorganization to MG continues with me trying to add more emotional reaction as I go.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Same Ole, Same Old Stuff
Trivia: Spent yesterday afternoon getting the car in shape for winter, including a new battery. The dealership didn't have any record of me buying a new battery since 1999 so I figured it was time.
Managed to finish Christine Feehan's Dark Curse while waiting. [Read one chapter on Saturday when I should have been writing. Took two days for a 400 page book.]
Reading Lessons: So what did I learn? [Other than I'm a faithful series reader ... as long as the story line doesn't bore me. Guess, I like retreating into other people's worlds ... though I don't fantasize about them afterwards.]
Feehan's working in back story without filling up pages of explanation caught my admiration. Many of Feehan's older characters appear in the book with just enough tag to place them in the world's setting. No giving their life histories and their characters remain consistent with what I remember. Jim Butcher does this very well in his Dresden series too. Both do this without using the same tags repeatedly.
Feehan's done her Carpathian series for over a decade and is pushing twenty books. I'm overwhelmed by her output. [Three series plus, and I'm doing good to get one 'book' a year with endless revisions.] To keep all that straight, her character outlines must be as long as a book to keep her people straight. [My Half-Elven stuff, including locations, covers three 'books' and runs about twenty pages; other WIPs are only three-four pages.]
While the attraction/love scenes repeated themselves, Feehan managed to switch gears before I became bored with the same repeated descriptions. Redundancy, anyone? To me, redundancy is more than telling and then showing the same action. Some might think she head hops because she switches viewpoints in mid-chapter, but she's easy to follow so I didn't mind.
Progress: I continue to chop about 1000 words a chapter on Tangled. Most of it is redundancies, adverbs/double adjectives, and passive verbs. When I get to the end, I'm seriously going to have to look at whether I want to simplify the viewpoints. I'm sure I'll hit my head against the wall of liking to read multiple viewpoint stories.
Emma got slammed by my local crit group because I don't give enough emotion. Well, I'm not emotional ... also she's suppressed her emotions due to the abusive treatment of the grandmother. I need to work on that a bit. Maybe have her feel more emotion and consciously suppress them.
Whoever said writing was easy.
Managed to finish Christine Feehan's Dark Curse while waiting. [Read one chapter on Saturday when I should have been writing. Took two days for a 400 page book.]
Reading Lessons: So what did I learn? [Other than I'm a faithful series reader ... as long as the story line doesn't bore me. Guess, I like retreating into other people's worlds ... though I don't fantasize about them afterwards.]
Feehan's working in back story without filling up pages of explanation caught my admiration. Many of Feehan's older characters appear in the book with just enough tag to place them in the world's setting. No giving their life histories and their characters remain consistent with what I remember. Jim Butcher does this very well in his Dresden series too. Both do this without using the same tags repeatedly.
Feehan's done her Carpathian series for over a decade and is pushing twenty books. I'm overwhelmed by her output. [Three series plus, and I'm doing good to get one 'book' a year with endless revisions.] To keep all that straight, her character outlines must be as long as a book to keep her people straight. [My Half-Elven stuff, including locations, covers three 'books' and runs about twenty pages; other WIPs are only three-four pages.]
While the attraction/love scenes repeated themselves, Feehan managed to switch gears before I became bored with the same repeated descriptions. Redundancy, anyone? To me, redundancy is more than telling and then showing the same action. Some might think she head hops because she switches viewpoints in mid-chapter, but she's easy to follow so I didn't mind.
Progress: I continue to chop about 1000 words a chapter on Tangled. Most of it is redundancies, adverbs/double adjectives, and passive verbs. When I get to the end, I'm seriously going to have to look at whether I want to simplify the viewpoints. I'm sure I'll hit my head against the wall of liking to read multiple viewpoint stories.
Emma got slammed by my local crit group because I don't give enough emotion. Well, I'm not emotional ... also she's suppressed her emotions due to the abusive treatment of the grandmother. I need to work on that a bit. Maybe have her feel more emotion and consciously suppress them.
Whoever said writing was easy.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Good byes
Trivia: Well, we went to the farmer's market and bought the last fresh corn-on-the-cob for this year. It was truly organic with a worm on top. So, we say good-bye to the warm season. At least the cold season will "roller-coaster" for a while before it hits the deep chill.
Reading Lessons: You'd think someone my age would be done with lessons, but I'm pretending to be a writer. Have to learn what I'm doing first, though. So, what did comparing Jim Butcher (Turn Coat) and Stephanie Laurens (Temptation and Surrender) teach me? (Besides I don't think I have the right mind-set to be a romance writer.)
Pacing, for one thing. Both books are about 400 pages long. Butcher comes out of the blocks in the first chapter with Dresden's nemesis turning up on his door step (wounded) asking to be hid from their fellow Wardens (magic workers guarding humans against the supernatural under the direction of the "White Council"). Laurens has her MC (Emily) showing up on the Cynster-clone's door step seeking to manage the village inn after running away from her uncle to look for a missing family treasure.
Nice start for both ... but Butcher continues the pace of his action. Whatever Dresden does, some monster or other slips a "jimmie" into the works. In each chapter, problems intensify and foil Dresden's trys to prove the "rogue" Warden's innocence. The world stays consistent with the previous books, though Dresden isn't the adolescent male of the first ones. All those people trying to kill him have aged him.
Once, the bad guy is found and disposed of, Butcher leaves enough ideas dangling that you know another Dresden book is in the works. -- You gotta love the concept of the "Grey Council" of wizards fighting the "Black Council" without the knowledge of the "White Council". -- I sank into the book's world and read it in two days.
I struggled through Laurens' book: skipping the overlong love scenes, skimming much of the rest, including anachronisms, and still taking forever to get to the end. Laurens characters waltz back and forth until they end up in bed about half way through the book. About the same time, Emily's uncle finds her and her siblings. But, he's basically a red herring with another villain lurking in plain sight. The last half of the book moves, at a slow pace granted, but the romance genre is different than the thriller. They do find the treasure and live richly ever after. Bottom line: I think Laurens wrote a 300 page book plus padding.
It's not the romance I'm objecting to, maybe just the microscope she turns on it. Butcher provides Dresden with a little romance -- though I doubt if he will ever enjoy a "happily-ever-after" since another relationship bit the dust in Turn Coat. I'm not objecting to the sex either. I'm already into a new Feehan Carpathian book.
One thing both books did: you could break down the action into four sections, each one offering a major complication to confuse things until the last chapter. Laurens got bogged down in the first half, but picked up the pace in the second.
Progress: Still editing both Tangled and Emma. Surprising how much better Emma flows as a middle grade book. It remains to be seen if it's salable -- but I feel confident now that I'll get an ending on it.
Reading Lessons: You'd think someone my age would be done with lessons, but I'm pretending to be a writer. Have to learn what I'm doing first, though. So, what did comparing Jim Butcher (Turn Coat) and Stephanie Laurens (Temptation and Surrender) teach me? (Besides I don't think I have the right mind-set to be a romance writer.)
Pacing, for one thing. Both books are about 400 pages long. Butcher comes out of the blocks in the first chapter with Dresden's nemesis turning up on his door step (wounded) asking to be hid from their fellow Wardens (magic workers guarding humans against the supernatural under the direction of the "White Council"). Laurens has her MC (Emily) showing up on the Cynster-clone's door step seeking to manage the village inn after running away from her uncle to look for a missing family treasure.
Nice start for both ... but Butcher continues the pace of his action. Whatever Dresden does, some monster or other slips a "jimmie" into the works. In each chapter, problems intensify and foil Dresden's trys to prove the "rogue" Warden's innocence. The world stays consistent with the previous books, though Dresden isn't the adolescent male of the first ones. All those people trying to kill him have aged him.
Once, the bad guy is found and disposed of, Butcher leaves enough ideas dangling that you know another Dresden book is in the works. -- You gotta love the concept of the "Grey Council" of wizards fighting the "Black Council" without the knowledge of the "White Council". -- I sank into the book's world and read it in two days.
I struggled through Laurens' book: skipping the overlong love scenes, skimming much of the rest, including anachronisms, and still taking forever to get to the end. Laurens characters waltz back and forth until they end up in bed about half way through the book. About the same time, Emily's uncle finds her and her siblings. But, he's basically a red herring with another villain lurking in plain sight. The last half of the book moves, at a slow pace granted, but the romance genre is different than the thriller. They do find the treasure and live richly ever after. Bottom line: I think Laurens wrote a 300 page book plus padding.
It's not the romance I'm objecting to, maybe just the microscope she turns on it. Butcher provides Dresden with a little romance -- though I doubt if he will ever enjoy a "happily-ever-after" since another relationship bit the dust in Turn Coat. I'm not objecting to the sex either. I'm already into a new Feehan Carpathian book.
One thing both books did: you could break down the action into four sections, each one offering a major complication to confuse things until the last chapter. Laurens got bogged down in the first half, but picked up the pace in the second.
Progress: Still editing both Tangled and Emma. Surprising how much better Emma flows as a middle grade book. It remains to be seen if it's salable -- but I feel confident now that I'll get an ending on it.
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